Stacey Lynn Lee, CTC
How effective are the relationships that you have with your associates? Most of us spend more time with the people we work with than our own families, so wouldn’t it make sense to develop better working relationships with our colleagues? Building successful relationships is not always an easy task because we are all different and have our own likes and dislikes. But what would happen if we made more of an effort to understand why people do the things they do? Knowing what motivates our actions is the key to building effective relationships with the people in our lives and understanding one’s dominant personality style is the first step to developing effective relationships.
Robert Rosales writes on the importance of positive relationships in the workplace stating: “In a service-based industry, work gets done through people and organizations depend on positive interpersonal connections to accomplish their goals. For this reason, working effectively with others has become one of the most important skills in the workplace” (Rosales). Since companies are depending on effective relationships, it is no surprise that they are investing in management tools such as Myers-Briggs or the DISC Behavior personality assessments to discover the traits of their employees.
In addition to companies collecting this valuable data, managers can truly use this information to their advantage. Knowing the dominant styles of your team can help when hiring a recruit, delegating assignments and how to best communicate with everyone. It’s also the best tool for building a relationship because you already have an idea of what their strengths and weaknesses might include. According to Gallup polls, a full 50% of employees who quit cite their manager as the reason (Altman). This fact alone should be enough motivation for all managers to focus on building a relationship and the best place to start is by understanding what innate personality style moves them forward.
As technology advances, we have easier access to personality assessments that help us determine what our dominant personality style is. When your results are tallied, it’s easy to see which temperament you share the most traits with–or whether you are an even blend of two or more temperaments (Louise). The study of personalities does not have to be a daunting task, but once you get a general idea of the four temperaments, you will begin to identify them within your colleagues. Before we discuss the four personality styles, let’s take a quick look at the history behind this study.
Around 400 B.C. Hippocrates was the first individual to dive into the personality behaviors. He categorized these behaviors by the chemical makeup and color of the bile in someone’s blood. Further discovery lead to Galen classifying these as the four humors known as Choleric, Sanguine, Phlegmatic and Melancholy. In 1928, William Marston updated the Greek tiles to Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Compliance, also known as the DISC Behavior Inventory. More recently, Dr. Gary Smalley and Dr. John Trent used the animal names of Lion, Otter, Golden Retriever and Beaver to make more sense of the behaviors that each personality type possess.
The first personality type is the dominant Lion. This is a person that exudes authority as they are result driven individuals. People with this dominant style tend to be the leaders in an organization because they are very direct, determined and decisive. You’ll know the powerful Choleric by the way they walk into the room and how they take charge of everything (Louise). To others this extrovert individual may appear intimidating, but it’s only their nature for producing immediate results. A few indicators of this style are people that are motivated by challenges in the workplace and often fear being taken advantage of.
In my role as a manager, I have found that the Lion is one of my greatest challenges to work with. One employee that clearly displayed this personality style was very direct and often difficult to work with. It wasn’t until I discovered the DISC method that I began to understand how to work with her and how to build a better working relationship. Anytime I needed her to perform a task, I had to change my approach and be more direct about my expectations because this was the language she spoke. There were difficult days and personality clashes, but over time and with effort I was able to develop a successful working relationship that has turned into a lasting friendship.
The next personality style is the Otter, which is referred as the Influencer under the DISC method. These people are easy to identify because they are usually the life of the party. There biggest fear is social rejection because they are the social butterflies that want to be liked and adored by everyone. Recognition is the best way to motivate this person because they are the entertainers in the office. Because they are naturally optimistic, it is best to get their buy in first, so they can help to rally the troops and motivate your team to move forward. The Otter lives for the moment and goes with the flow.
Although this is not my dominant personality style, it is a close second. I have had the pleasure of working with several Otters, but there is one individual that truly displayed this characteristic in his everyday life. Usually our office was always quiet in the morning as everyone begins their day. I could always count on this person to start the morning conversation and cheer everyone up first thing in the morning. Otters do not do well with silent and prefer that everyone be included in the conversations. Anytime the mood of the office was low, he would always be the first person to suggest that we have an office luncheon or social. It can be very delightful to manage an Otter because they are usually the office cheerleaders.
The next personality style would be the loyal Golden Retriever. They are steady, stable and even-tempered people that you can always rely on. Their main fear is change and they can be over willing to give in when under pressure. “These people fit into any situation, blend in with the wallpaper, and modify their personality to get along without conflict. Everyone loves the low-key nature of the inoffensive Phlegmatic… They do appreciate being noticed once in a while, being included in conversations that they won’t push into on their own and being told they are of value and that their opinion is respected.” (Littauer)
One of my previous direct reports was a dominant Golden Retriever. I could always count on him no matter what the situation. He was a very easy to work with and had been in the industry for over eight years. After our company had merged with a larger club, I had the opportunity to move to an office that was closer to my home and in my community. I was very excited for what was to come, but I had to share the news with my team that I had spent the last few years building strong relationships with.
The day that I shared the news I could tell that my steady agent was not excited and seemed very sad for the remainder of the day. I also had to share that a manager he did not work well with would be taking over the office. I was concerned for him because I knew that this was a lot of change coming his way. A few days after I moved offices, I learned that he had put in his notice because he accepted a fulltime position at his evening job. I believe his actions demonstrate his Golden Retriever traits because he was not comfortable with major changes.
Finally, we have the compliant Beaver who ensures that everything is in perfect order. The Beaver is a very careful and concise individual. They value clear expectations and are motivated by quality. The biggest fear is making a mistake and being criticized for their work. “The Melancholy is a perfectionist who must have his life in order and hopefully everyone else’s as well…” “They would rather talk quietly with one person in depth than banter with a group” (Littauer).
After taking the DISC assessment and other personality assessments, I have discovered that this is my most dominant personality style. Since this is my dominant style, I can clearly point out my own strengths and weaknesses that I have displayed in my career and personal life. One of my weaknesses includes procrastination. Because I am so detailed oriented and often a perfectionist, I will put off a daunting task because I want the outcome to be perfect. My strengths outshine my weaknesses because I am great at keeping everything in order. I am usually nominated to take the lead because I like to neatly organize everything to ensure things go as planned.
Now that we have discussed some examples of the four temperaments, let’s talk about how to build effective relationships with each one of the styles. Knowing that a Lion is very direct and task oriented, you can learn to keep things moving along and not take their harsh responses personal. The assertive Lion has places to be and goals to conquer, so make a point to be prepared and professional in your interactions. Another tactic to appealing to the lion is offering a challenge or competition, and if possible allow them to take the lead on a project to help stroke their ego (Lee).
With the fun-loving Otter, it will be easier to build the relationship because they thrive on friendships and are people oriented. In fact, they will probably make the first move of building a relationship with you. If you can match their energy and have a good time, this will ensure that a strong bond is being made. Holding their attention can be tricky because they are easily distracted, but you won’t have to work as hard to establish a relationship because they will put forth most of the effort to building one with you.
The Golden Retriever will most likely wait for you to build a relationship, but this will be easy to do because they are very laid back. Kevan Lee best describes how to build this relationship by stating: “Reassure them with words of affirmation, which will serve to both build up self-esteem and engender trust in the relationship. Be sure your interactions make them feel safe” (Lee). Because they are such loyal souls you can easily build relationships by asking about their families. They will most likely have their photos on their desk making this an easy conversation starter and this will demonstrate that you care about them as a person and what is important to them.
Finally, is the analytical Beaver which can be a little challenging with relationships because they are selective in the relationships that they choose to build. The best approach would be to allow them time and not make them feel rushed. Because they are introverts, time is needed to build a strong relationship. When working on a project, be prepared with data if you need to support an idea and be sure to speak in facts (Lee). Because they are so selective with their relationships, you will know that you truly have a dependable and committed relationship once it has been established.
No matter what personality style is your dominant, there are a few things that we must do to ensure more effective work relationships. Pay close attention to your verbal and nonverbal communication when interacting with others, keep your commitments, share credit for ideas, never play the blame game, and help other employees find their greatness (Heathfield). Building strong relationships does not happen overnight, so practicing these basic suggestions will ensure that over time you will have effective work relationships.
In conclusion, it is recommended that everyone complete a personality assessment to not only discover your personality style, but to have a better understanding of why people think and act the way they do. Because we are all a blend of these styles, some people might not be as obvious as to which style is their dominant. Pay attention to characteristic cues to help build these relationships. It might take time, but it is worth the investment to have relationships with the people we see more than our own families on any given day.
References:
Louise, G (2013, October 26). An Overview of the Four Temperaments. Retrieved from https://kindredgrace.com/temperaments/
Rosales, R (2016, October 25). Positive Relationships in the Workplace: Work is Social and So Are We. Retrieved from https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/positive-relationships-workplace/
Heathfield, S (2018, June 10). Learn How to Develop Effective Work Relationships. Retrieved from https://www.thebalancecareers.com/developing-effective-work-relationships-1919386
Altman, J (2017, February 22). Don’t Be Surprised When Your Employees Quit. Retrieved from https://www.forbes.com/sites/valleyvoices/2017/02/22/dont-be-surprised-when-your-employees-quit/#3d4250e8325e
Owens, M (2015, July 27). Personality in the Workplace: Why It’s important & 5 Tests To Measure It. Retrieved from https://tech.co/personality-workplace-important-5-tests-measure-2015-07
Lee, K (2013, October 2). The 4 Personality Types: How to Appeal to Everyone http://workawesome.com/communication/4-personality-types/
Thaoski (2013, April 2). Personality Test: Lion – Beaver – Otter – Golden Retriever (Online Image). Retrieved from http://thaoski.com/2013/04/02/5-minute-personality-test-lion-beaver-otter-golden-retriever/
